Month: October 2024

Some people are fans of the Baltimore Ravens. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Baltimore Ravens. This 2018 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Baltimore Ravens.  Your 2017 record: 9-7. Let’s see how it ended! I wish I could make a personal lubricant out of that play. All the Ravens had to do to make the playoffs was beat Andy Dalton and Marvin Lewis, and they couldn’t do it. Out-fucking-standing. Imagine making the Bengals AND the Bills look good all in the course of a single afternoon. It’s almost like this team never left Cleveland at all. Your coach: John Harbaugh, who likes every new rule change in the NFL right up until one of them doesn’t work out in his favor. This man is a perfect…

Horse racing had a fantastic 2015. Every leg of the Triple Crown was must-see TV, and the end of the Belmont Stakes made history. The year’s events breathed new life into the sport of horse racing, and we have these amazing, newsworthy horses to thank for that. Frosted Keen Ice Mubtaahij Lady Eli Private Zone The horse who [object Object] Dortmund Photos via AP; image by Jim Cooke Contact the author at [email protected]. …

Some people are fans of the Denver Broncos. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Denver Broncos. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here. 1. John Elway Sideline Horseface. Last season marked one of the very few times that a sideline shot of a team executive was actually warranted, because nothing was more enjoyable than watching Tim Tebow pull game after game out of his ass and then see John Elway over on the sidelines, looking like a foiled supervillain. But now that Elway has masterfully run Godboy out of town, we're still gonna get 50 sideline shots of his big horsey mouth every game. Seriously, his teeth are huge and terrifying. He could bite an eggplant in half with that big disgustin…

It’s that time of year again. Time to bust out the old roasting pan and say despicable, awful, horrible things about every team in the college football Top 25. Join me, won’t you? Please note: The following guide contains words, which may be an issue for those of you who attend Auburn. As a safety precaution, I suggest you Auburn fans go back to watering plastic Christmas trees and trying to impregnate your girlfriends through the butthole. Keep trying! YOUR POOPBABY WILL TAKE ROOT AT SOME POINT! And what a great year for hating this will be! College football itself has never been so intolerable. It says a lot that a school like Miami can spend eight years throwing dong parties on yachts and the only people shocked by such malfeasance are members of the news media. OMG! Hookers? In…

data-mm-id=”_t09a4fq2o”>The Washington Redskins have played precisely one half of quality football this year. It came in the first half of their season opener against the Eagles. It's hard to overstate how poorly everything has gone since. As is usually the case with the cellar dwellers in the NFL, the biggest problems start with the quarterback position. Case Keenum was turnover prone in his first three and a half games. The fans cried for Dwayne Haskins, and when Jay Gruden finally relented, Haskins looked entirely unprepared to face any NFL defense, even the Giants. Colt McCoy was supposed to be the de facto No. 2 coming into this season, but the team butchered his recovery from a broken leg so badly he's only now just gotten healthy. With Keenum, Haskins, and McCoy as the…

data-mm-id=”_oh6wrkwa1″>It was probably unfair to Sean McVay to ascribe historic levels of genius to him during last year's incredible run to the Super Bowl. And it's probably unfair to suggest he's been exposed as a fraud this year. The Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde nature of Jared Goff's play and Todd Gurley's dubious health have played a major role in the regression back to the mean. But it may surprise you to see this chart highlighting relative aggressiveness on fourth down by team. Because for a guy whose reputation was built on the perception that he was a fearless and bold revolutionary, McVay sure does play it safer than anyone else. Updated 4th down aggression chart through Week 12.Our. Ravens. pic.twitter.com/gpDDBUZGCd— new-age analytical (@benbbaldwin)…

data-mm-id=”_sudxgj30n”>Another year, another offseason in which a running back will hold out in hope of a contract extension and will most likely fail. Last season it was Melvin Gordon. This time? Minnesota Vikings back Dalvin Cook, who reportedly hopes to ink an extension that pays him somewhere in the neighborhood of Christian McCaffrey's $16 million annual salary– and he doesn't plan on participating in camp if he doesn't get there. ESPN reports the Vikings offered Cook an extension with a yearly salary worth less than $10 million, and Cook's camp was not pleased with that offer: “Negotiations have been taking place for a while. According to multiple league sources, the Vikings’ initial offer was below $10 million per year, which was not deemed “reasonable” by …

data-mm-id=”_be6fnjyq6″>Much excitement surrounds this week's upcoming episodes of The Last Dance, which will prominently feature Michael Jordan's stint in Double-A baseball with the Birmingham Barons. In one of those weird twists of fate that sports likes to throw at us every now and again, Jordan's manager during that time was Terry Francona, who would go on to win two World Series with the Boston Red Sox and become revered in New England as the man who helped break the Curse of the Bambino. Francona went on Buster Olney's Baseball Tonight podcast to talk about his experience managing a global superstar in minor league baseball. One of the anecdotes shared, naturally, involved a pickup basketball game Francona played at his apartment complex with Jordan (starting …

data-mm-id=”_n22fynfy5″>The Athletic has obtained a copy of an NFL memo that lays out some details for COVID-19 precautions at training camps. Like every other league, the NFL is still trying to figure things out, but it appears they will be relying on the honor system and a lot of extra work. Via The Athletic:”According to guidelines laid out in a joint memo sent by the NFL to teams on Sunday and obtained by The Athletic on Monday, players and essential staff can expect to take a COVID-19 test 48 hours before each team’s reporting date. All players and essential staff will also be screened for COVID-19 antibodies. Players will also have their temperatures taken to check for a fever each day upon arrival at the facility, and they will be required to wear masks while indoors.”The Athl…